What a week it has been....until 6/20

Heartwarming, revealing, consoling, more in tune with procedures, organized and
resolving to not allow situation over which I have no control of ruffle my feathers or make me stress out. Tears of joy are okay, tears for pain too but tears that well up due to exhaustion will not be allowed. I will not exhaust myself at this juncture.

Chemo day today,full house all recliners filled with folks I've seen before. Sarah was only nurse to administer and was hopping as the bells dinged. Long time sitting but was able to translate the laminated recipe of my grandmothers that made me fell content. Remember that apple creation well, will try to copy.

Afterwards drove to Cosco to get fresh fruit thats a mainstay of mine now as summer is here. Liquids, mostly was and posh fruit juices like the one made of Blueberry or Mango. FYI, they didn't help much, like an assemble line. I ran over to get a box and the packer just ignored it when I returned. Another moment when whipping off the wig and yelling I've just been to chemo would get customer service hopping.

People seem to be in vacation mode. Packing, day tripping and getting the outside vibe. Fireworks have made an appearance on the street, teens graduating from highschool give me a sense that I felt as if I was safe from this chemotherapy and radiation I have to go through. But I've been lucky in life as this was my first surgery completely under that has changed my outlook in life.

I have one person that I have found I can definately lean on. My best friend and
significant other and domestic partner and team player. The others are iffy now, they have not been calling or making the effort. That's why I've always gone for therapy and support groups as I've been the one who has had to pick myself up by the bootstraps and find a way to continue living my life when it gets scary.

Summer was always scary to me, unpleasant with humidity, stifling heat and the smell of Noxema as I sunburned easily due to a light complexion and it seems we did not have all those spf's back in the seventies. No lying out suntanning for me this summer at all. My cells are being killed weekly in this cycle that will end in on 8/08 and then the radiation begins for 5 weeks. Nope, summer will be different this year.

More about the importance of group next...stay tuned.